A Teacher as a Map

I recently got home after an absolutely amazing experience at Kokikai Summer Camp, including testing for and receiving my black belt.  Certainly, there will be more to come on that in future, once I've internalized a bit more!

One of the best parts of this camp, for me, was a sudden realization about Sensei's (Shuji Maruyama, the founder of Kokikai, who we all turned out to see) motivations.  A part of the camp which I've seen before many times has honestly always irked me: Sensei calls up a strong, stubborn guy for a ki test, throws him easily, and then demonstrates how other strong, stubborn blackbelts cannot throw the same person.  While Sensei always emphasizes his smallness and says, "I can do it; you can do it," my perceived message was always the opposite - it always seemed to highlight the apparent inadequacy of some of the fittest, highest-ranked people in the practice.  I always wondered why Sensei seemed so fixated on denigrating his own black belts, to the extent that this exhibition occurred multiple times every seminar weekend and camp, sometimes multiple times within a class.

BUT!  Finally at this camp, things came together for me.  After an entirely different demonstration, Sensei elaborated: (I paraphrase) "You must catch correct feeling.  I cannot tell you how to do it, you have to find it yourself.  I can be a map and show you how correct feeling works, how to find the way.  If you catch the feeling yourself, you do not need the map, but until you do, see what I am showing you."

Suddenly, the rationale behind all of those ki tests became apparent to me.  Good aikido is a feeling, and it feels different for everyone.  Sure, many of us try to make it metaphorical when explaining to others, but the fact is, it cannot directly be taught.  Elements leading towards correctness, yes.  But not that tangible embodiment of correct feeling.  So, all Sensei can do is take a technique that exemplifies correct feeling to him, and keep showing it.  Through this, he can highlight the differences between his own relaxation and the buff men's tendency towards tenseness and conflict.

While this sort of demonstration is still not always my favorite mode of teaching (I'm far too verbal for that - imagine!), I think that it is something that all teachers should be incorporating.  As someone who hopes for life as a professor, I spend a lot of thought in teaching, and particularly what made the teachers who inspired me just so inspirational.  One thing that I think they all did was this type of leading by example.  Tangible things (how to solve an equation, how to pronounce Middle English, how to structure an argument) can be taught through verbal, visual, multimodal instruction.  These things take to how-to guides and textbooks very easily.  What is not so easily taught, however, is feeling.

I think that this concept of "feeling" enters the classroom in several ways.  Perhaps the most important is through passion for a subject.  This is not really the feeling Sensei is demonstrating in that it has little to do with bodily configuration, controlled relaxation, etc, but I think is still vitally important.  I'm sure everyone can attest to the fact that certain subjects sucked in high school (or middle school, or college) when taught by the person with the monotone voice who seemed to have lost all semblance of passion for anything long ago, and that those same subjects were amazing when taught by engaged people who seemed thrilled to get up and chat about these things inside and outside of the classroom.  Passion for a discipline can't be taught or learned through particular steps or from a textbook, but it can be contagious from teacher to student.

Similarly, I think that there is a "correct feeling" for doing the process of academic pursuit.  For me, it is a mu shin (no mind) state attained while writing.  Ideally, it also includes complete engulfment into texts while reading, but that one is less common for me.  I've heard from STEM people that they similarly fall into figuring out problems, getting trapped in their elegance.  These feelings too cannot be taught, only learned through experience.  Of course, they may not always produce perfect work the way Sensei's good ki produces consistently excellent results, but they are at least a step in the right direction.

I think that in general, there is a lot to be said for the teacher-as-map model, and also for the caveat that if you can find the way yourself, you can discard the map.  That latter is not very likely though, so hold on to your maps and value them for everything they show!