For me, the need for progressive relaxation was illustrated in spades in my life, on my honeymoon. After our NY wedding, my husband and I had a week of light travel in the Santa Fe region planned, before a second party with his family in Albuquerque. Now, you may have guessed by now - I am rather type A. This means that when I travel, I generally go to SEE things. Beach vacations always vaguely confused me, because obviously you're missing museums and local culture and snorkeling trips and hikes and... by sitting on a blanket reading all day. Why not just stay on your porch? So, naturally, I had a whole passel of sites picked out for our trip, dutifully researched and meticulously picked out.
One of the first days out there, we had made a quick excursion somewhere in the morning (maybe that was the day we went to a park owned by the Audubon society?), and were then contemplating what to do after lunch. I had my list of museums and parks at the ready, even though we were both still jetlagged, tired from wedding events, and rather sluggish and reeling from the sudden 7,000 feet of altitude. My husband, better at the whole relaxing thing than me, suggested we just wander around town a bit. At first, I was hesitant: yes, the little shops are fun to poke in, but we've had day trips before, and how many times can you go look in the same tourist traps? In the end though, we had an awesome afternoon just strolling and enjoying each other's company, without the pressure of getting to sites or seeing anything in its entirety.
I had a sudden realization: as much as I love vacations designed to help me see the world, which I will certainly still pack to the gills with activities and experiences I want to get to, there's also a lot of space for relaxation vacations. If the point is to be with the person you're on vacation with, holding hands through the town square is just as good as (and maybe better than!) holding hands on a grueling afternoon hike. As the vacation went on, I think I was able to make my relaxation progressively more complete, as we mixed activities and simply enjoying each others' company. By the time we hit the hot springs later in the week, I was definitely ready to just lay around in the sun all day!
Now that "real life" is coming back again, I'm hoping to reclaim that sense of progressive relaxation. Will this high strung New Yorker have a state of perfect calm through another move, buying a car, meeting a whole new community of people, prepping for a public lecture closely followed by my shodan test, and oh, yeah, getting back to my dissertation? You can bet not. But, I will try to make steps in that direction each day through things like taking time out to relax with my new husband(!), working on breathing, and making sure I keep myself grounded as much as possible.
NB: Word to the wise: "international folk art" does not mean native craftworks akin to the culture exhibits in NYC's Museum of Natural History. Instead, it means many, many, weird dolls from the 1960s, as in the photo attached to this post (not my own).
NB 2: Another word to the wise:
instead of going to the Folk Art Museum when in Santa Fe, go to Kakawa Chocolate Shop, one of my favorite places in the world!
