Wow, it has been a while! Life has been a bit crazy, which leads me to the post I've been thinking about for a while, and am finally writing down.
Part of the many reasons I haven't been around much was that last weekend, I took a barely-planned trip across the country. Whether you actually know me, or you've just figured that I'm a type-A slightly neurotic academic based on this blog, you can probably guess that a cross-country flight on a week's notice is not my usual modus operandi. Perhaps it should be, though.
When I found out about a Shakespeare symposium that would allow me to see my (long-distance) fiance and future area of residence, I suddenly had a divided mind. Part of me said, "Oh my god! A valid professional excuse to go do all this stuff I want to do! Yes!" The other part of me said, "Oh my god. I have to pack for my move in a few weeks, I have to see all my friends here before that happens, I'm already behind where I wanted to be in my dissertation for the semester: I can't go." Yeah, because 3-4 extra days of work would definitely get me through dozens of books of reading for the next chapter that didn't happen. Obviously, I ended up going.
Why I bring this series of events up here is because it was yet another stark reminder of why I need to become better at embracing mu shin, that state of an aware, yet empty mind. In a rondori circle at the dojo, when I don't know the attack that's coming, I've gotten decent at not over-analyzing. In the rest of my life, not so much.
Embracing mu shin in life allows for greater flexibility. While one still can plan ahead, it means that opportunities that arise suddenly don't become these fraught moral dilemmas, plagued by the constant voice of, "But I had planned to..." In the dojo, we need mu shin in order to deal fluidly with whatever our partner throws at us - whether that is an unexpected type of attack, a poor or inexperienced style, or a harder throw that needs a bit more adept ukemi than we'd anticipated. In life, it means having the flexibility to seize opportunities when they arise, and not get thrown off-balance (off-center) when negative surprises happen. Little by little, I try to gain victory over myself, and banish the unhelpful aspects of my schedule-bound rigidity.
